Remember how many times you decided that you want to break up with me? And remember that ALL those times, the reason was never me? i'm sure you remember everything, because i know that you never felt good when you did them .. remember how in allthose times you hurt me with many things you said, and all what i used to say is how much i love you, and how much you mean to me ...

This time i am sad .. and i am mad because of things you did ... i'm not breaking up with you because something that is pissing me of in school .. i'm not breaking up with you because i feel depressed .. i'm doing that because you did something that hurt me ... 

you are taking decisions without discussing them with me before hand ... you just take the decision .. and THEN say it to me .. weather i like it or not.


I'm telling you .. rasha .. yay next year maybe we can appear together 3al tv ... you go like .. la2 .. we wont ! I think . el3ama shu sar ... then you simply tell me : we wont get engaged .. no way! You took a major decision about our relationship without even discussing it with me before hand .. you just took it .. and  THEN you told me ... ow law manne fete7 siret el TV u might not even told m e .. shu bi3arrefne ..


few days later .. i see you online .. ow all of a sudden : ali .. sorry but i removed the relationship from facebook. Again .. you take a decision .. you make it .. without even telling me before hand ... you DO it .. and then you tell me ... 3ajabje kana biha ... ma 3ajabne .. 2omro ma ye3jebne ... before doing this you could have told me : look ali .. lots of people in nabatiyye are now on facebook ow i dont want them yje22o .. can WE remove OUR relationship status from facebook ... walla I would have accepted ow 3ala 2albe mitl el 3asal. bas inti you took your own decision .. you removed it .. and then you tell me .. as if i'm a third party .. ow ma khasne bi hal relationship ...


and then you feel sad when i tell you " rasha im always afraid from you " .. you tell me "u should be .. and if you stay like that it really bothers me" ..

tab 7ayete keef baddek yene not to be afraid when relationship decisions are being taken by you without being discussed by both of us ..

how would YOU feel one day after we get married if I came home all of a sudden and told you .. " rasha  .. hole wra2 el tala2 .. i'm done with them .. roo7e dabre rasek" .. i'm sure you'll feel so bad .. and u'll think that i'm not respecting our relationship ...


You didnt want to mention my name in your book .. fhemna .. you dont want us to appear together on TV and magazines fhemna ... youdont want people to see our relationship .. fhemna ... you dont want to get engaged so soon because you have lots of dreams .. fhemna (by the way ana kamen i have lots of dreams, and i cant yet understand how being together can stop these dreams from comming true) ... killon hole fhemnehon ... bas you sould know that those are A LOT  to ask from a guy who would die for you .. and who wants every single person in the world to know that we are a couple ... killon hole bihoono when things are discussed before hand.


Ow yes .. Lovers dont need to be alike to love alike .. but they need to understand eachothers needs ... mish whenever u hurt me you'd go like : this is my personality i cant change it ...

Rasha .. how many times i said to you words yalli ana bkoon 3am bemza7 feehon .. but inti you get hurt .. and i stop saying them .. like ( syra bala fehem) ... inno if i stop saying it because u dont like it .. bkoon i'm losing me personality? You told me to stop biting my nails .. and i stopped .. bkoon losing my personality? I know that there are topics that you dont like to talk about .. i dont open them with you .. bkoon losing my personality?

What you want to apply on me .. kamen you should apply it to yourself .. you cant ask me to stop saying the words that bother you .. and still say everything that bothers me. this is not changing personality .. this is understanding your other half. . your lover. ya3ni iza inte didnt understand my needs .. ow iza ana didnt understand your needs ... then who will? Whenever u say that there is something that you dont like in me .. i try my best to change it to the better .. i'm not perfect, but i'm ready to work on myself to be as close to perfect as i can(akid i mean in your eyes)


i'm doing lots of mistakes .. i know that .. i just want you to understand my feelings and tsem7ini when i do those mistakes ... exactly like how i always understand you feelings and just step over things and let them pass as if nothing happened ...

and if we want to go back in the memory ... ana mish 7a 2ellek .. inti you know how many times u hurt me, and how many hurtful words and sentences you said to me ... starting with "aslan ana shu tole3le mennak" which you cried after saying it .. ending with "I used to love you .. but now i discovered that i dont"


i know i talked a lot .. and i hope that you will understand my feelings ... and i really hope that you wont get hurt because i'm reminding you of how you hurt me .. but dunno .. maybe at sometimes its good to remind you of them .. to prove the point that love is give and take .. mitil ma ana t7amaltek many times. . inte kamen baddek tet7ammaline when i do mistakes, and when i feel bad.


sorry for everything hurtful i did to you  or said to you... and i'm not ashamed to say sorry .. and i hope that you can also face me with a sorry for all the hurtful things you did and said to me.


I love you SO much, and i really hope that everything will get better soon .. just be happy .. cuz i'm sure one day we'll reach mount everest ...

i adore you