I remembered this song for Fairuz after i talked to you again tonight ( after the call about Roni ).

I know that you are not feeling good, and at such moment i dont take all what you say for granted. After alll those days of you feeling bad because i am away from Lebanon, you ask me to stay in the UAE because there are news that it might get worse again in Lebanon. Ow as usual, u said " kirmeli ... walaw ya 3ali kirmeli 3am 2illak "

When I was in Lebanon, you are asking me to travel, also kirmelik. At that point i felt good because my angel is understanding my situation. But when i reached here .. you missed me alot, and i cant forget it when u were angry on the phone asking me to come back ow u said " law baddak tiji feek tiji".

I'm sure that when u told me "kirmeli sefer" u never meant that deep from your heart .. and when you told me tonight, "kirmeli stay in UAE" u also didnt mean that from your heart. I know that you want me to be beside you, just as much i want to be beside you.

For the past 2 weeks, i never had a true moment of happiness. And the moment i feel somehow happy i think, i wish rasha was with me. I missed you every moment for the past two weeks, i wished million times for you to be with me, especially today in the Water Park, it is SOOOOOOO DAMN NICE FOR COUPLES! I saw couples enjoying their time, having fun together .. playing games together ... we never had the chance to do that yet, this makes me feel SOOO bad ; we never had the chance to spend real fun time together .. i really hope to spend some fun tome together soon.

Staying under the bombs, but cloe to you, is WAYYYYYY easier for me to stay safe over here but far from you. I'm not just saying that, i have tried both, and i can tell you which was harder for me. I lived around 25 days in the war, we were together for the last ten days, all the feelings i had were nice and good feelings for being together. I was never worried, depressed, neither felt bad or down for anything. Now i am in UAE, safe and sound, no people dieing, not building falling, i can have fun at any moment i choose, i'm with my family.. etc etc .. i swear 7abibti that i have been depressed for the past 2 weeks, i have cried a lot, felt bad, felt gilty, felt down, missed you SOOO  BAAAADD.

now you tell me which is easier ? DOnt you want me to stay where i feel safer ? I feel safer beside you, not matter what is happening around us. if bombs are falling around me, simply holding you hand would make me feel safe and sound, no matter what happens around.


LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU, NOR ANYONE CAN EVER IMAGINE ! AND MISS U EVEN MOOOOOREEEEEEEE
good night my love